My Heart...My Poems

Inside I feel as if we are falling apart And I am the one to blame I don't know if you have sensed it But this is the way I feel I try to stop it You know I love you But I feel as if you are slipping through my fingers And away from my heart I feel helpless and useless There is nothing I can do or say To stop these feelings from coming But I guess that I should feel lucky That my heart still feels at all

Sitting here all alone Thinking back to those haunting words I can't seem to get them out of my mind Wondering what they mean And why they were said I can't help but think the speaker hates me Or feel like I will ruin your life I never want to lose you But I don't want to feel guilty for holding you back I am scared that I am slowly losing you Worried that I am dying inside His words are draining me He is tearing me apart And doesn't even realize it So please talk to me Tell me it will all be okay Cause somehow I always believe The loving words you speak to me Wipe away my tears and tell me you love me Make me feel whole again Bring back the passion Don't let him tear us apart Alone, I am not strong enough But together I believe we can overcome Lets stop those haunting words That imply I will someday ruin you Or cause your untimely death So save me from myself

I remember when long ago All I could do was dream Of finding true love I remember when long ago My wrists sorrowfully showed my pain As did yours I remember when long ago Life held no meaning I felt as if I was being forced to play a game I remember when long ago I felt as if my closest friends Were abandoning me I remember when long ago Alcohol became a dear friend As I tried to drink away my sorrows I remember when long ago You stepped into my life And managed to change all of that Later I will remember How good it felt For your love to fill my heart

I sing the hymns, they sound so sweet They touch the deepest parts of me So tell me why I think about you And not Him I hear a voice that sounds so near 'I love you' is what it says So tell me why I hear you And not Him I picture walking through those pearly gates Following the golden roads So tell me why I'm walking with you And not Him At times I feel so lonely I call out for help and strength So tell me while I call to you And not Him He is supposed to be put first in my life But somehow he seems to fall second So tell my why my number one is you And not Him I try to love Him But I feel as if I'd be abandoning you So tell me why I'm telling you And not Him I've tried to explain Why you seem to mean so much more I figure I've just grown Too dependent of your love So somehow I will have to make it up to Him For I will not be ashamed of showing my love to you And not Him

The pressure is unbearable But I can't figure out why I want to keep trying Because I love you so much But every time it makes me cry And still I don't know why I know you love me, I love you too Its supposed to be something special But somehow the stress Caused by a lack of time Makes me feel dirty inside And still I don't know why It feels good after the initial pain fades But it doesn't seem to be enough Somehow the tension doesn't go away And still I don't know why Uncontrollably the tears begin to fall I just don't know how to stop them They make me feel empty inside And still I don't know why Afterwards you have to leave me That I understand Then I call you To hear you say you love me And that I really do mean something special to you I listen to you because I trust you I believe you wouldn't tell me lies Hearing your voice And all of the loving things you say It always makes me feel so much better About us and

Someday we will look back On what is now our uncertain future Try to look past the bad times And remember the good I hope we can succeed So why can't we do that now Right at this very moment We know it is possible So why can't we believe Maybe because the bad times Are currently out weighing the good But together they will make our future The best it can possibly be So in the end when we stop to look back The bad times will have turned into good ones For the sake of our love and friendship To stand against the test of time So I will love you through the good and the bad So that I will be given a chance To love you forever